


Wildest Dreams

by snusnu95



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, One-Shot, Romance, adorableness, bisexual Miranda Lawson, cuteness, first person POV, hella gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 23:59:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11885610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snusnu95/pseuds/snusnu95
Summary: Shepard and Miranda finally realise their feelings for each other; and the result is beyond Shepard's wildest dreams.





	Wildest Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MuffledWalnut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffledWalnut/gifts).



“One hundred and fifty new messages are at your private terminal, Commander,” Kelly’s voice chimed as I approached the galaxy map.

My feet hooked onto the step and I almost toppled over, gripping the railing for support, “I’m sorry, what?” I stammered, glaring open mouthed at the yeoman, “did you just say _one hundred and fifty_?”

“Yes ma’am,” Kelly replied with the same cheery tone.

I blinked blankly before coming back to reality, “Yeah, I’m not dealing with this shit right now,” I cautiously backed away from the CIC, “I’ll…I should go.” I rushed into the elevator and the doors slowly slid shut behind me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding and hit the button for Deck 1, tapping my foot impatiently as the elevator grinded upward.  

“Fuck, I should really look at those emails,” I muttered into the empty space, “what am I going to-,” but as the door to my quarters slid open, I was bought to a halt. The alert for the one hundred and fifty emails was flashing on my terminal, and my room was currently a nursery for datapads.

“You know what?” I said, “EDI, if anyone asks I’m going to be in the cargo bay. Exercising.”

“Of course Shepard,” EDI replied. I rummaged through my drawers, pulling out my exercise gear. Stripping off my Alliance uniform, I hurriedly struggled into my shorts and sports bra on along with grabbing my towel, water bottle and a few energy bars I swiped from the mess. Stepping back into the elevator, I slammed the button for Deck 5 and tied my laces as the elevator lurched downward.

Ah, Deck 5. For me and for many of the crew this deck was peace and solitude. Not only did the exercise equipment live down here which was frequented by many of the crew; the shuttle and combat sim were also located here. Today the cargo bay was empty, much to my relief yet a twinge of annoyance pulled at my gut. I was secretly hoping to see Miranda Lawson down here, as she often frequented the combat sim while I exercised. My heart twinged when I realised I hadn’t actually _seen_ Miranda for two days. No doubt, she was busy with work, unlike me.  

I set my things down and began to stretch, a satisfied smirk on my face as I felt the muscles preparing for the harsh exercise they were about to receive. Before starting, I chowed down a protein bar, they were made for biotics, but fuck it, mine now _._ Muscles feeling supple, I took out my initial energy on the punching bag, enjoying the pleasure of my fists slamming into the bag. After expending most of my energy I pushed out 50 push ups and sit ups a piece before stopping to grab a quick sip from my waterbottle.

My usual finale included pull ups, no set number, just as many as I could churn out. I held on to the bar, and let my legs dangle before summoning any remaining strength left and doing pull up after pull up.

Amidst all the pull ups I heard the whiz of the elevator opening, but didn’t pay it any mind. It’s not like my exercise was a secret from the crew, I didn’t get muscles from simply sitting around. It was probably Garrus anyway. He had a thing about tinkering with the shuttle. However after several minutes I noticed that I hadn’t seen the occupant of the elevator, especially as Garrus would’ve announced his presence, and I hadn’t hurt the doors close again.

While mid-pull up, I glanced over and sure enough, a curvaceous figure was leaning against one of the turbines.

I smirked, “Were you after something, or do you just want to keep watching the show?” I asked while dropping softy from the bar.

Just as I had expected, Miranda Lawson stood before me; her raven hair framing her elegant face, her curves perfectly accentuated by her white catsuit. Her blue orb-like eyes weren’t looking directly at me, but rather at a spot just left of my head. Her pale cheeks suddenly had a reddish tinge, “I – what?” she stammered.

I smirked, placing my hands on my hips and arching an eyebrow, “you know what I said.” Miranda continued to look a little lost, bringing a hand to her forehead as if to clear her thoughts, I snorted, “I think a cat’s got your tongue.”

She changed, coming back down to Earth, _or well, the ship anyway_ and stared me dead in the eye, her blue eyes meeting my green ones, “I think the answer is both actually,” she replied coolly, a shadow of a smile on her face.

I opened my mouth to formulate a response, but the ship gave a violent lurch. I felt my body topple and slam into the wall, at least keeping me upright. Miranda was not so lucky, and had completely lost her footing. She tumbled into my arms, and I grabbed her around the waist to stop her face-planting.

“Thank you,” Miranda murmured. I pushed myself against the wall to regain my balance, yet my hands continued to linger on Miranda’s waist. Miranda’s hands were still delicately resting on my shoulders. For several seconds we stood; my breath hitching and my heart was throbbing in my throat. I couldn’t focus on anything aside from Miranda, the way my hands rested on the curve of her hips, the way each individual strand of hair fell effortlessly into place, how full her lips were…and then I pressed my lips to hers.  

 _Oh my goddd_ my brain turned to mush, but her body tensed under my grip and I lurched backward, my skull lightly smacking into the wall. Crap, I had taken it too far. I stepped forward, and watched her face intently as her eyes opened.

“Look, Miranda, I didn’t-,”

Her hands smacked into my shoulders, pinning me against the wall and the rest of my sentence disappeared in an ‘oof’. She towered over me and crashed her lips onto mine. I responded with enthusiasm, one hand finding Miranda’s hair and twisting my fingers through it, the other moving from her waist to the small of her back. I pulled her close, her large breasts bumped into my own. She sighed against my lips, and in response I grabbed a fistful of her catsuit. I felt her nails dig into my exposed skin of my lower back. 

_SMACK_

“FUCK!”

At the cry, I flung sideways in surprise, feeling my skull crack, “argh, shit” I grunted, grabbing at the side of my head. I had smashed my head into one of the weights. I shot up to see who had cried out, and sure enough, Garrus Vakarian was rubbing at his forehead nearby.

“Garrus – you’re early,” was the first thing to fall from my lips. Miranda came up to my side, her face a mask empty of emotion.

“I finished my calibrations, so I figured I’d come down here, then I saw-” he began but his face slammed into a low-hanging beam. My laughter caught in my throat, but a small bubble of it escaped my lips. Garrus’ plight would’ve been _way_ funnier if he hadn’t interrupted us. I snorted at the realisation that beam was probably what he had hit his head on.

“Fuck’s sake,” Garrus muttered as I maintained my steely gaze. He ducked much lower than needed before standing tall once more before us.

“You saw _what_ exactly?” I bit out, arching one of my eyebrows as placing my hands on my hips. He faltered ever so slightly, a gesture I would’ve missed if I didn’t know him so well. I smirked at the fact a 7ft turian was faltering under the gaze of a 5’3 human.

“Err-” Garrus’ eyes flicked between Miranda and me several times before he gulped audibly, “nothing. Nothing at all…ma’am,” he saluted, but I didn’t miss the wink from the eye underneath the visor. Garrus sauntered toward the shuttle as if nothing had happened.

I sighed, rubbing at my forehead, “you wanted to ask me something?” I snapped, a little harsher then I had intended. I lifted my head and my eyes met Garrus’, who was waving seductively at me. I scowled, and Miranda turned to look but by the time she had the smartarse turian was innocently tinkering.

“Yes, I need you to meet me in my office; there are a few files I’d like to discuss.”

A loud wolf-whistle followed this and I curled my hands into fists, _please stop_ _that_ my thoughts growled before turning back to Miranda, my expression softening.

“You taught him that?” Miranda asked incredulously, placing a hand on her hip and arching an eyebrow.

“You have no idea how much I regret it,” I replied dully, then sighed, “I’ll meet you up there. My skull is throbbing, so I’ll have it looked that. Plus, I have a _turian_ to deal with.”

“Understood,” Miranda nodded curtly and made her way to the elevator. My eyes trailed after her, and they fell to her perfect lower backside. I met her gaze once more before the doors snapped shut.

“So, you finally did it?”

Garrus was lounging idly against the shuttle, his mandibles twitching.

“Yes….and no?” I lifted my response into a question, and ran my fingers through my sweaty red hair, the frustration bubbling up to the surface, what in the world had just happened?  

“What the hell did I just see then? Were you giving her CPR?”

I snorted, “Actually, if you must know _she_ was the one giving me CPR,” my voice dripping with sarcasm; Garrus chortled and I continued, the sarcasm lost, “I mean, we were making out in the shuttle bay…” I stopped, rubbing the back of my neck, “but shit, I don’t know. The ship gave a jolt; she fell into my arms…”

“And the rest is history,” Garrus commented, nodding.

“No, I-” I sprung back in shock but only to see him grinning, “fuck…”

“Stop freaking out and go speak to her,” Garrus advised, “she wanted to talk to you anyway. Straighten it all out; find out where she stands, blah blah.”

“I don’t know if I want to know…” I mumbled.

“You’ll need to know sooner or later,” Garrus argued.

I grunted, “fine,” but my skull twinged, “I’ll go get my head seen to first. Later Garrus.”

“Later… _lovebird!”_

I held up the finger while stepping into the elevator and Garrus was clutching at himself in laughter as the doors shut.

xXx

Dr Chakwas gave me the all clear, and then I rushed to my cabin and now stood in the shower. I had a hand on the wall, head hanging down as the warm water flowed over my naked body. I stared at the water flowing off of my abdominal muscles before lifting my face directly into the spray.

“Fuck,” I muttered once my face was clear from the water, “what the hell am I going to do? I kissed my XO! Fuck!” I couldn’t even vocalise my thoughts properly. I was torn; I didn’t want to know the answer. My heart would crumble if she said she felt nothing, or worse, felt something but wanted to remain friends for the ‘good of the mission’. The water ran cold, signalling my allotted shower time was up.

I stepped out, allowing Cerberus’ high tech drying system dry me. I usually didn’t let this happen, but I honestly couldn’t be fucked towel drying myself. The cool air of the cabin bit into my naked body and stung my bare feet as I rummaged through to find my favourite outfit – black cargo pants, a black tank top and my N7 hoodie. I forced my feet into boots and sighed, my heart quickening its pace as I made my way to the elevator.

“Better get this over with,” I whispered, “EDI?”

“Yes Shepard.”

“Where is Miranda?”

“She is currently cleaning her quarters,” the disembodied voice replied.

A grin found its way to my face, my nervousness overtaken by amusement, “ooh, this I have _got_ to see. Dismissed EDI.”

“Logging you out.”

The elevator grinded to a halt and I stepped out into the crew deck, only to slam into something. A firm hand gripped my arm to stop me falling on my face. Looking up, Thane Krios was staring down at me, a quizzical expression etched onto his face.

“Bloody hell, you scared the shit out of me!” I clutched at my heart as Thane let go of my arm.  

“My apologies, although I wasn’t trying to be stealthy…” Thane replied with confusion. I flushed with embarrassment, muttering out a rushed apology before finding myself standing in front of Miranda’s door. Her lock was engaged.

I took a deep breath; my heart had begun to race once more. I alone could override the lock, and once done I entered.

My eyes were greeted to datapads strewn haphazardly around the room; stacks on the couches, bed and desk. Her bed was sloppily made, and had a towel thrown across it, and her desk appeared to be a breeding ground for mugs.

“Well, well, well, never thought you’d be so messy Ms Lawson,” I commented idly, leaning against Miranda’s doorframe and crossing my arms.

“Shepard.”

Miranda emerged from behind her wall in the further section of the room. She had changed out of her catsuit into a white long-sleeve shirt that snugged at her curves, and a pair of tight-fitting trackpants. She beckoned me in, and I took a seat at the one in front of her desk. I rested my ankle on my opposite knee.

Meanwhile, my thoughts were racing in the silent space. _What am I supposed to do?_ Mentioning it would be weird, but not mentioning it would be even weirder…kissing your XO who you’ve had feelings for since forever was not something that could be brushed off. Miranda and I had been spending time together, but fuck, I had had no idea Miranda actually _liked_ me in that way! _Or does she?_

“What did Dr Chakwas say about your skull?”

I snapped up at the question, “She said I was fine, just a day off from active duty.”

“Excellent,” Miranda’s voice was heavy with a tone I couldn’t quite place. Sadness? Regret? Pain? I didn’t know, but it played heavily on my heart.

I tried to divert the awkwardness and my eyes rested on the bed, “tsk tsk, didn’t realise perfect humans made their beds so sloppily,” I teased.  

“Stop.”

Miranda emerged from behind the wall again, her eyebrows were pulled down and her mouth twisted into a scowl, “Do you know how many fucking reports I’ve had to write? To give you an idea, one for each thing we do – including each planet we mine!” My stomach twinged, plummeting to somewhere near my knees.

“I’m sorry,” I replied quickly, running my fingers through my hair, “I didn’t -”

“Are these stops to Tuchanka and Praiga necessary?” Miranda snapped.

I got to my feet, “It’s important-,” but Miranda cut me off.

“This is a crazy diversion, and for what? So we can blow up a Cerberus facility and Mordin can research the genophage?”

I stepped cautiously toward Miranda, “this stuff is important to Jack and Mordin, and we have to take Grunt otherwise he’s going to destroy the ship before we even get to the Omega-4 relay. He’s already smashed a glass panel.”

“Can’t this wait-?” Miranda argued.

“Could your sister wait?” I snapped back, instantly regretting the harshness of my tone. Miranda’s expression was blank as she fell onto her couch sending a pile of datapads crashing to the floor.

“I didn’t mean to sound so nasty, I’m so sorry,” I mumbled, tripping over the words.

“It’s fine,” Miranda replied, her volume matching mine. I took a seat next to her, and thought it a good sign that she didn’t flinch away from me.

“No,” her voice thick, “she couldn’t. I’m sorry Shepard; I’m just overwhelmed with everything. The mission is taking its toll; The Illusive Man sends me messages everyday asking why we aren’t going through…”

“Tell him to suck it,” I snapped, sudden anger flowing through me, “I’ll go through when my fucking team is ready, and not a moment before.”

“I will pass the message along,” Miranda’s ghost of a smile vanished to be replaced with the same glum expression as before. She let out a quivering sigh before continuing, “I don’t think I ever really thanked you for saving my sister.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I waved my hand dismissively, but she grabbed it and held it in her own.  

“I don’t have to,” she started, “but I want to. I just…I just wish I had spoken to her,” her voice cracked on the last word. She tore her hand from mine and leapt to her feet, wrapping her arms around herself and strode over to the other couch, stopping to gaze out of the window.

“I know I did the right thing,” Miranda said in a small voice, turning back to face me, “but, _shit_ , I wish I had spoken to her.”

I got to my feet, and Miranda continued, “This is just stupid selfish desire…”

“No, it’s not,” I replied, making my way forward, “it’s every human’s desire to have family. No one should have to struggle alone; and, if it matters, I care about you Miranda.”

Miranda began to tremble, and I made my way over to her. Tears were spilling over and rolling down her cheeks, and before I could react Miranda had wrapped her arms around my neck, gently sobbing into my shoulder.

I was not the person that comforted people. This was Tali’s job. Miranda continued to cry, and I tried to make myself as supple as possible. I had no idea what to do with my hands, so I simply embraced her around the waist, pulling her closer. For how long we stood like this I had no idea; it could’ve been several seconds, several hours or several lightyears and I wouldn’t have known. All that mattered right now in this moment was holding Miranda in my arms.

Eventually, Miranda’ grip loosened, and I reciprocated. She carefully took a seat on the couch, and I copied her, sitting side-by-side in the ever-increasing silence. Miranda’s eyes were red-rimmed, and every so often the silence was broken by her sniffles. A loose thread in my pants caught my attention, and I pulled at it, trying to free it.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Miranda mumbled, she too was pulling at her track pants.

“It’s all right,” I replied, “everyone has those moments.”

Silence fell between us once more, the lull of the ship and the occasional banging of pots and pans were all that could be heard.

“Shepard…”

I looked over to Miranda, who was drumming her fingers on her knee, “yes?”

“About the cargo bay…” she trailed off.

I summoned my courage, “what about it?” I asked casually. My heart had returned to throbbing in my throat. Here it comes, here come the reasons. I mean, they were going to make sense, but I didn’t want to hear them. I had liked Miranda for so long, and knowing the awful truth was going to hurt. ‘We have to think of the mission’, ‘we couldn’t do that’, ‘I don’t actually have feelings Shepard, I was caught up in the moment’. The thoughts whizzed around my skull and I readied my ‘I understand’ response before Miranda had a chance to open her mouth.

“I – I don’t know where to go from there,” the words fell quickly.  

“I – wait, what?” I did a double take, staring at Miranda, “I don’t understand?”

Miranda took a shuddering breath, “I care about you, a lot actually.”

“You do?” I asked, not quite believing what I was hearing.

“Yes, and I made the mistake of letting go one of the two people I actually give a damn about,” I could see her struggling to vocalise her thoughts, but she ploughed on, “I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

“Wait wait,” I sat up. Miranda was watching me curiously as my brain was piecing it all together, “So, what I can gather from that is - you like me?”

“Yes.”

“Like _like_ me?”

“Yes Shepard,” a shadow of a smile playing around Miranda’s lips once more. A feeling was rising in my stomach, I didn’t know what but I knew it was good.

“For how long?” I pinched my leg to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, and sure enough the pain was instantaneous.

“Since the day you woke up,” Miranda admitted, her eyes not quite meeting mine.  

My heart began to flutter once more, like a bird about to take flight. The utter relief taking over my very being. I couldn’t believe my ears! Miranda Lawson just said she _liked_ me! Me! Commander Shepard! I fell back onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling, a grin taking over my face. A hand rested on top of mine, and I entwined my fingers through Miranda’s.

“I don’t let people in,” Miranda continued giving my hand a squeeze, “but I don’t want to lose the other person I care about either.” Her eyes met mine, “Shepard, I don’t know how this is even going to work, but, I want to give this a try.”

“You’re sure?” I asked, feeling as light as a cloud.   

“One hundred percent,” Miranda stated, a real smile finally appearing on her face. I couldn’t resist, I reached over, cupped her jaw and planted a soft kiss on her lips. When I broke away there was no mistaking the twinkle in Miranda’s eyes.

“So, what do we do now?” I shrugged, unable to think of anything to say.

“I’m not sure,” Miranda replied.

“I know!” I chirped, “how about we have the night off? Let’s do something fun! Let’s watch a vid!”

Miranda’s twinkling laugh echoed across the room, bringing another wave of happiness through me, “I don’t think we have the time,” at these words my face fell, “I’ve got too many reports to do.”

“Fuck The Illusive Man!” I declared, slamming my free hand on my knee, “we can do that shit tomorrow. We’ve got another free day!”

I pouted, trying to pull the puppy-dog eyes and Miranda rolled her eyes good-naturedly, “Fine,” she sighed and I fist pumped, letting go of Miranda’s hand to open up the vid program on my omni tool.

“Here okay?” I asked.

“These couches get horrendously uncomfortable,” Miranda admitted, “we can use the bed.”

I kicked off my shoes and shrugged out of my jacket, laying it over the couch. I caught Miranda eyeing me before she hurriedly put the towel on her bed away. I climbed onto the bed, propping the pillows and opening the vid program.

“No one is to disturb us tonight, EDI,” Miranda called out, looking at the ceiling, “we’re having a night off. It can wait.”

“Understood Operative Lawson,” EDI replied.

Miranda climbed onto the bed next to me, “what would you like to watch?” I asked as I scrolled through the available vids. Miranda rested her head on my chest, and her arm snaked its way around my torso, sending a wave of electricity flooding through me once again.

“Anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this fic for my friend; MuffledWalnut. I hope everyone enjoys :)


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